Merry Christmas everyone! As you might expect, today has been the most fantastic of days. I’m not entirely sure how they managed it, but my excellent parents managed to get me a Wii. Yes, a Wii – ending a story arc that’s lasted at least ten days.
I’m pleased to say that it lives up to expectations. Here’s a badly produced video of me boxing:
I think one of the best things about it is that my entire family have been having a go (despite only having the one controller). We’ve been playing Wii Sports all day- and I think its pretty clear that Nintendo have created a revolution in video games when I’m getting thrashed at virtual ten-pin bowling and and virtual golf by my parents and even my 75 year old grandad. It was interesting because today was the first time I’ve played “golf” since I smashed my grandad around the head with a golf club in Cromer when I was about twelve. Luckily history didn’t repeat itself today. Here’s an exciting video of my grandad having a go at Wii boxing… and winning:
Yeah, he now joins the ranks of the hundreds of other “old people playing computer games” videos on YouTube.
Other present highlights include the atlas I got my sister. The hilarious family in-joke is that she wants to study Geography at University, yet she can’t find Germany on a map. In something a pre-empted retaliation, she got me a book on the worst multi-storey car parks in the country.
Yeah, its been a good day. An excellent day. Merry Christmas everyone!
As you might have seen, I’m currently on the hunt for a Wii. I love new technology- I think its the best thing in the world that I can take a photo on my phone, wirelessly send it to my computer, and transfer it to my iPod, and output the screen to the TV. I like how I have access to every bit of information imaginable, and I like how I can broadcast my pearls of wisdom to people in the corridors of power. The trouble is that I’m worried that as I get older, advances in technology might scare me.
First of all, the uninformed scientist within me has this concern: how do we know technology will keep on improving? Yeah, we don’t have flying cars like they thought that we would have in the 1950s, but things like processor speeds have steadily grown (Moore’s Law), and the number of megapixels in a digital camera have increased and so on… how do we know this will keep on happening? How do we know that scientists won’t reach a point where they can’t squeeze any more transistors on to a circuit board or whatever? You only have to look at the number of fans on a modern high-spec PC compared to say, a pocket calculator, to realise that technology is struggling to cope with our expectations.
Ten years ago we had WAP on our phones which allowed us to connect to the internet at an incredible 2kbps or so- these days top-end phones can download stuff at near-rubbish broadband speeds… how do we know that they’ll keep figuring out ways to get more and more data into the same space?
Our entire consumer society is built on technological innovation, and the assumption that these will continue… what if they don’t?
Speaking of mobile phones, surely a future technologically innovation is going to be access to the internet everywhere (WiMax etc)- surely this has some profound societal implications? I’ll never be able to win an argument by lying ever again, as the other person will be able to instantly check to the facts?
Perhaps we’ll end up with too much information? I spend far too long every day using Google Reader to check hundreds of RSS feeds- to the point where accessing a normal web page feels a bit weird. Yeah, I find it interesting, but I’m reading it at the expense of perhaps, learning about something new, as I have a rigid routine of “Dinosaur Comics, MediaGuardian, then Engadget“. I subscribe to about fifty personal blogs, so spend large amounts of time reading about how Mr Biffo’s sitcom pilots are doing, or how eerily similar Doctor Vee’s life is to my own… in the past I’d spend hours reading the BBC News website, learning about obscure African politics and so on, rather than wasting my time on the inconsequential lives of annoyingly more interesting people.
Does this mean that I’m learning less about things that matter? Have I not dumbed down my interests and become obsessed with the cult of personality? Am I not now a passive consumer consenting to my life being outside of my control? Will my political apathy and the media brainwashing me turn me into simply a sheep that is completely unaware that its being lead to slaughter?This diversified news media scares me too. Websites are destroying the established news media, as I now find myself getting the latest from Westminster from Guido, and not Nick Robinson- and this scares me. The BBC are institutionally impartial- and people on TV and Radio have to be. If we switch to getting our news fix from unregulated media (ie: the internet), then the facts could be distorted to suit other peoples agendas, and there are no guarantees on quality, and we’ll actually be left more in the dark as to what is going on than before- and the news will become like the music charts: where the people with the money decide what’s popular and what is important.
The lack, or decline of big news organisations also means that the scope of news covered will be much smaller: how will the news media be able to justify sending reporters to Baghdad, East Timor, or inevitably the crater where Pyongyang used to be? Yeah, I suppose the modern idea would be to find a blogger in one of the affected places and read about the news where they are from them? I don’t even know anyone in Baghdad, and if I did, would I trust them to give me an impartial view of the situation? What if the only blog I can find is the Iraqi equivalent of James O’Malley, and is writing about what’s on TV whilst more important things go on around them? Blogs are said to give everyone a voice, but do we really want to hear everyone’s voice? Is my opinion on Iraq supposed to be as valid as John Simpson’s?
On demand television and the lack of linear television channels in the future will be a massive problem culturally. People will never learn anything new, or discover any new interests. It’s already happening: if you know where you can find 24 hour interior design programming, what’s going to make you switch over to say, Newsnight when you could be seeing if that middle-class couple decided to buy that second home in Spain or not?
In the past, when there was only a handful of TV channels, you’d watch whatever was on, and endure it, because there was nothing else to choose from. Who knows, the great British proletariat might even have caught the news and learnt about what is going on in the world? More choice means a less collective experience, which means that they’ll be nothing to unite people- aside from the shared tyranny under a government that consolidated their iron grip on power whilst we were too busy uploading our tedious video blogs.
And the diversified viewership associated with on-demand and hundreds of TV channels? If no one is going to watch something, then budgets will be slashed and broadcasters will have to resort to lowest common denominator drivel like The X-Factor in order to entice people in. What will compel broadcasters to make thoughtful and challenging programming when they can get bigger audiences by getting viewers to vote on which nobody they want to give £100,000 and a few front pages of the Daily Star to? Are we heading towards a society that’s as vapid and empty as a conversation with an elderly relative who you don’t really know or like, and where both of you know that this feeling is mutual?
And what about technology in other fields? Whenever they get around to inventing the self driving car, I can imagine being terrified at the prospect of putting my life in the hands of a machine that only knows where it is because of sensors and satellites. Presumably this will be the point where I’ll start buying the Daily Express for its new ‘Crusade’ to bring Princess Diana back from the dead, and restore the monarchy with her on the throne.
Basically, I think we should freeze technology as it is RIGHT NOW, but perhaps build a few more Wiis.
The most bizarre thing happend yesterday morning. My mum came into my room.
No, that’s not the bizarre thing- it’s what she said that was strange.
She told me I was going to buy a (new) laptop. “Alright”, I replied. This, coming from the woman who for the past six months has been telling me to “get a job” because I don’t have any “money”, and how I shouldn’t spend money. Just the other day, I had a loud and shouty argument with her about getting a job and running out of money. And now I’d just witnessed the biggest policy U-turn since the Conservatives decided to try and become marginally more successful. Or for a slightly more pop-culture analogy, since Sky One decided to go upmarket (Lesbians in Lesbos was replaced by erm, more Simpsons, or something).
As it turns out, my parents are going to Menorca later this month, and they want me to spend time in the living room with my sister, and not just on my computer. This is way of meeting them in the middleground.
As long time blog readers might know, I used to have another laptop, but it died an untimely death when I worked it too hard and smacked it up a bit. It deserved it. It lasted approximately six months before the first cracks appeared. Both literally and figuratively. I’m hoping this new Gateway MX3220B, what with it being a big name up there with the likes of Somerfield and Kwik-Save will last a bit longer.
Much like how John Prescott replaced his wife with a mistress or three (including the MP for Doncaster Central, allegedly), who was (marginally) smaller, (slight) thinner and (presumably) looked nicer, I’ve done the same with my laptop. It’s got a bigger hard disk, built in wifi, but doesn’t have any built in functionality that would help make this dull paragraph any more interesting.
I had the foresight to take my USB flash memory device (pen drive) to the shop with me, meaning that on the way home, I had Netstumbler running, so I was wardriving all the way home. It was thrilling. The exciting results from this experiment allow me to conclude that a lot of people have BT Wireless routers, and approximately 50% of all wireless routers are encrypted. I’d be the first to admit that this experiment isn’t upto the same sort of calibre as my MP/Coke survey.
I’ll be taking bets on how many months this laptop will last. It nearly met an early death earlier today when my dad was taking a blind down, so thing don’t look too promising.
Also: sign up for my mailing list now, it’ll contain bonus content you won’t get on the blog! I know you’re dying for even more of me.
He was using a big crane to decorate a big Christmas tree- it’s better than the time I saw a window cleaner using a long pole to reach sixth-floor windows!
I think I’m slowly turning into a robot- I seem to be accumulating a variety of different handheld gadgets, all of which will slightly enhance my ability to live life to the full. For example, when going to University the other day, I carried with me: (muggers, this is the bit you need to read… rapists, you can skip this)
MP3 Player It’s a brick- a brick with built in wifi and 1.5gb hard disk. It’s an Aireo, if that means anything to anyone.
Digital Camera Another big brand name here- a 5 megapixel Vivitar digital camera- this actually allowed me to take the photo of a photo of me and Heather.
Pen Drive (512mb) I have a pen drive as I’m that leet.
I addition, I have a Nintendo DS, which I would have bought with me, but I’m trying to get into books, so I look intelligent and so on.
Why am I telling you all of this? Aside the fact that when I’m out and about, I’m carrying over two gigabytes worth of storage space in four devices, I’ve bought yet another gimmicky piece of consumer electronics. I’ve bought a dictation machine. (64mb flash memory, if you’re counting). The theory is, I’ll record lectures and stuff, and then I’ll be able to put them on my MP3 player. In reality, when I walk around, I sound like a medieval knight, and look like I have wider legs than I already do.
I suppose I’m writing this post as more of a warning than anything- if you, yes you try to rape me, you’d better watch out. Not only can I phone for help, take a photo of you to help identify you, and even pass the time whilst waiting for the police to come, I can now also record what you’re saying to me- evidence that can and will be used against you in a court of law.
Rapists: owned.
In other gadgets news, or more specifically “James O’Malley’s gadget’s news”- don’t get any ideas about me blogging about the latest technological innovations for your benefit, my laptop finally died the other day. It wouldn’t boot into Windows, because of a corrupt install. I’m not going to reformat it because I need my data. It’s had all number of other problems, including:
A battery that no longer holds charge, the contacts between power connector and laptop have become very loose, and as a result nudging the lead will cause it to power off (no battery, see?), dodgy keyboard since I spilt Coke all over it (no, really), the screen replacing all areas of “#000000″ black on the screen with “#FF0000″ red, and the screen flickering like an untuned TV unless the power lead is in just the right way.
Anyway, I’ve bought a hard disk caddy, and I’m currently playing the coroner, and carrying out an autopsy. I’ve managed to remove the battery and fan from the inside- but the important bit I need, the hard disk, is stuck in there. It’s covered in a metal “thing”, which is screwed into another “thing”, which is connected to the big “thing”.
The question is now: should I try and force it out? This could potentially fuck up the hardware, rendering it beyond repair?
Expect more dull updates about the hard disk saga in the future.
I’ve been having a very “techie” week since I last updated, or more specifically, since I spent a slightly less “techie” day with Heather the other day. My point is, I’ve bought a hard disk and a new digital cameras.
Yes, lady readers, it’s one of those updates. I’m going to talk about gadgets.
The hard disk was part of a grand plan of mine to finally join the elite club of Linux users- I’d stopped applying deodorant in preparation, and bought myself a Babylon 5 t-shirt. The 120gb Maxtor drive was going to have Fedora put on it, so I could do everything I currently can do, but in a more fiddly way. I’d also be able to sound like an elitist, rather than a cheapskate by telling people who don’t care about how wonderful free open-source software is. Trouble is, I couldn’t get the sodding thing to work. More specifically: Matt couldn’t get the sodding thing to work. A trip to his house, via nearly hitting a cat in a big car, confirmed that the motor inside the hard disk that turns it around isn’t infact doing its job. What I essentially had was a metal brick that I’d paid forty pounds for.
Having spent a big chunk of money on a useless piece of equipment, I thought I’d dig deeper into my savings and buy a digital camera. I justified it to my parents by saying it was for University. It’s dead good- 5 megapixel, 3x optical zoom, links up to a telly, takes SD cards, so is vaguely compatible with my MP3 player and memory card reader and only cost £100! You can tell it’s a good camera because it’s made by the giants of the digital camera world Vivitar. And yes, it’s a model that isn’t even acknowledged on their official website!
You’re thinking “this is all well and good, James, but where’s the regular hilarious anecdote?”.
I left Argos, digital camera in hand, and went into good old-Wilkinsons (who happen to be my employer) to buy some batteries. Whilst standing patiently in the queue, the fire alarm suddently went off! This never happens when I’m working!
After a good two minutes of carrying on as normal, only with some added occasional mutterings of “what’s that noises”, and rotating our heads about to see if we could see what was causing it, the supervisors/management eventually told everyone to evacuate.
It was dead good- all the staff stood where they’d been trained to, outside Argos, whilst all the customers looked on in bewilderment. The alarm kept going and going. The only problem was, it wasn’t a very effective alarm- it didn’t scare you into thinking “oh crap, there might be a fire”, it was slightly more slapstic. I was half expecting to have won something for being the millionth customer, or the gunge tank to activate.
Fingers crossed, the alarm won’t be fixed by tommorrow, when I’m due in work, so they’ll have to send us all home. Or I suppose they could force us to work, whilst listening to something louder and worse than the music. Latest reports from the aforementioned Matt suggest that it still isn’t working, despite having someone out to fix it, and they did indeed force the shelfmonkeys to work during it.
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