Fight Club
October 15th, 2008 at 02:02
In these difficult economic times, there is a group of people we need to feel for, as they must be stressed, tired, angry and confused. No, not the millions of home owners or those facing unemployment, or even the millions of people who have a bank account, but the white-collar city workers. A few weeks ago I wrote about offering them hugs, but since then the crisis has had more twists and turns than the average company exec’s tax-exiled accounts, I’ve been thinking about what else we can do to help these bankers and financiers, and then it hit me: why not setup a Fight Club?
Obviously, my first step in looking into this venture was to re-watch the film “Fight Club”, to see what I needed to do to translate it into reality. In the film, a Fight Club is basically a group of men in the cellar of a dodgy bar fighting with each other two at a time… I think there are several things that I will need to take into consideration.
For a start, any real life Fight Club would be a health and safety nightmare and would almost certainly incur the wrath of the Health & Safety Executive. The fighters would have to wear much more protective gear than in the film, and obviously would have to sign a waiver, otherwise the insurance costs will be phenomenal – I imagine pitching “two people having a fistfight” to an insurer would cause them to have a fit. Similarly, I assume that there would be an obligation to have a first aider on hand, given the dangeous nature of the club, which would push up costs. And before any fighting could begin, it would certainly be diligent to give a short health and safety lecture to participants. A bit like Lazer Quest, really.
I think the club also may fall foul of equal opportunities legislation. If the rules from the film are taken as a base, then the “no shirt, no shoes” policy would certainly have to change as otherwise this could conflict with female fighters, who would risk sexual harassment and the like. Luckily two birds could be killed with one stone here, as the amount of safety gear that fighters would be required to wear could act as a “kit” and protection at the same time. Similarly, disability discrimation would be a minefield too – if a wheelchair user was matched up to fight against someone who was able-bodied, it would be an unfair fight, so something would have to be worked out here too.
Moving on to business concerns, obviously the marketing would have to change. “Do not talk about Fight Club” is a very counter-intuitive rule – if the business is to grow then it must grow by word of mouth… perhaps some sort of discount referral system could replace this first and second rule of Fight Club? In terms of expansion, though, the film seemed to have the right idea – a franchise system would allow for fast growth across a wide area. Though one thing the film is less effective at is branding – a coherent brand that can be used across all franchises will create a loyal customer base.
Looking at it all this written above, setting up a fight club does seem like hard work, which surprises me considering that in the film you never see either Edward Norton or Brad Pitt sit down and do a single bit of paperwork – which is something that would have made it much more realistic. I guess the Fight Club will have to remain a figment of my imagination.
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