_Noise_Conspiracy.jpg "The (International) Noise Conspiracy - 002-09-17: 9:30 Club, Washington D.C., USA")
Taking Criticism
March 21st, 2008 at 16:50
I think generally, I’m quite thick-skinned. This isn’t just an excuse for being fat either – when people criticise me, I like to think that I can take it and learn from the experience. I mean, I have survived eight rounds in the ring with Anne Robinson, so I must be pretty good at it.
I got an incredible e-mail this morning from someone who didn’t leave their name, but I think its much better than the last piece of hate-mail I received.
“Upon reading your article(s) in the ‘herald and post’, i have come to the inevitable conclusion that you sir, are a gaping cunt of gargantuan proportions. i find your opinions inexcusably blatherskite.
“Feel free to continually fellate yourself all over the pages of the paper, safe in the knowledge that your reply to this (if in the paper) will literally be shat upon’t.”
Yeah, I had to look up the meaning of “blatherskite” too. It turns out that it means “foolish gibberish”.
The weird thing is though, that upon reading it I didn’t break down into tears (I was already crying for an unrelated reason), I actually took it as a sort of badge of honour. Or more accurately, it was further evidence that people were actually reading. Clearly this person felt angered up enough to go to their computer, search the internet for me, then send me an angry diatribe. The greatest authors and film makers spend years trying to produce content that will evoke and emotional response in the audience, to try and get a reaction. Schindler’s List and Titantic cost millions of dollars to make and countless man-hours of hard work by thousands of people – yet I’ve proved that its much easier to make someone’s blood boil and provoke their emotions that way. All it takes is calling the general public idiots, or something.
This does worry me though. If I’m treating criticism as a sign that I’m “doing the right thing” then how am I better than the Westboro Baptist Church? They love it when people get angry about them. I’d claim that its a case of what Nietzsche famously said: “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – but that’s obviously wrong. Take getting your legs chopped off, for instance, or a non-fatal bullet wound.
In retaliation for this I’ve done the most logical thing and set up a Facebook Fan Page for myself. I already have six fans – that’s only seven less than Heather Mills… and everyone thinks she’s great!
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