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Blair shits in woods.
November 18th, 2007 at 17:12
Tony Blair (remember him?) has apparently admitted in an interview that there were “disagreements or tensions” with Gordon Brown when he was Prime Minister. In a separate interview, a bear has admitted that, at times, it has indeed shit in the woods.
The disagreements throughout Blair’s 10 years in office are thought to be trivial and varied. Tension is thought to have arisen after the following incidents:
- Brown has an awful habit of drumming along to songs in his head – during Cabinet meetings. What made this intolerable for Blair was that he wasn’t just drumming with his fingers, but even used his feet to mimic hitting the pedal on the bass drum and occasionally raised his arms to “hit” the “cymbals” whilst making a crashing noise with his mouth.
- The pair once turned up to a party in the same suit – making both of them feel self-concious and awkward for the entire evening.
- Brown breathes heavily through his nose, resulting in an irritating wheezing sound, that once you notice it, you can’t focus on anything else.
- Whenever Blair tried to play it cool in front of foreign leaders and dignitaries, Brown was invariably found prattling about in the background, going out of his way to cramp Blair’s style. Whilst Blair was entertaining his cool American friend George, discussing cool topics like laser missile defence and monster trucks, Brown allegedly burst into the room, completely ignoring George, and reminding Tony that he’d said that he’d help him put together a new inflation control white paper to submit for review to the monetary policy select committee. Apparently Blair’s guest pretended to fall asleep and for the rest of the weekend made sarcastic references to how boring Blair was. The story goes that a fuming Blair yelled at Brown “Why did you do that?!”, only for Brown to reply “Do what?”.
- Apparently there was a really bad argument just before the 2005 General Election when Blair nearly “dumped” Brown – trying to make his job defunct and allegedly even blocking him on MSN.
- Brown whistling off-key.
If any “insiders” know of any more incidents, let me know in the comments!
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