The Economist
September 30th, 2007 at 20:03
Yesterday, I bought a subscription to The Economist, realising what an excellent magazine it is. It’s just like reading a newspaper, but with all of the unimportant domestic and celebrity news removed. Its basically pure power politics: war, peace, men in suits discussing important issues, that sort of thing.
This means that about 80% of the articles in every issue is about the difficulties they’re having forming a coalition government in one fledgling democracy or another. For example, this week they highlight how ineffective coalition government is in Lebanon, the Ukraine and, er, Belgium.
The other 20% of the magazine are nearly always about the rise of China, explaining that pretty soon it is going to kick loads of arse – and there’s usually some graphs about the economy to illustrate this.
I really do like The Economist though, because you feel dead important reading it. If I’m reading it on a train platform, I’ll make a point of holding it in such a way that the masthead is clearly visible to the people around me, so that my fellow commuters will know that I am an important and powerful person, who knows lots about important issues. I’ll even try and muster a sneer of contempt if I see anyone around me reading, say, Closer magazine, whilst I’m clutching my Economist.
You can tell the Economist is aimed at important people by the adverts that appear within it. In this week’s edition, they’ve got Mikhail Gorbachev promoting Louis Vuitton, which is apparently some high-end fashion brand, and brand-building adverts from the sort of financial companies who you don’t really understand what they do, apart from that it involves a lot of money.
There’s also some adverts for high powered business things that will enhance productivity to a degree that regular peons can never hope to fully utilise. There’s Duncan Bannatyne from Dragons Den explaining why he likes his Blackberry in one advert. It appears that the people normal folk write off as bastards for shitting on the dreams of the inventor of the inflatable pen-knife are role models in the high-powered business community.
The job adverts too are a sign that the people who read the magazine are incredibly important. Every job listed is either CEO of some major company, or chief executive of the World Health Organisation or something. Every job advert explains that “international travel will be required”. There’s even a whole section of the magazine dedicated to “tenders” – countries looking for people interested in helping privatise the railways or building a hydro-electric dam or whatever.
I hope reading an important magazine makes me more important. Er, just like how visiting important places has.
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