Watching football
May 19th, 2007 at 23:38
I was trying to find something to watch on TV this afternoon, and ended up watching what I assume must have been some sort of minor football match being shown on BBC One. I usually steer clear of any sort of sport on TV, bar the occasional England team World Cup match, but I’d already seen the episode of Top Gear they were repeating on UKTVG2+1, and as much as I try to enjoy them, I can’t bring myself to watch a Tedious minor battles explained at length special on the History Channel. So I watched the football.
It was like watching a nature documentary: a pack of ape-like men chasing after some prey and then fighting between themselves over it. Eventually they seemed to give up and one group of them established themselves as the alpha-males of the herd. It was here I observed a strange ritual.
The team with the distinctive blue markings swarmed around each other, seemingly slapping each other. It seemed to be a sort of congratulatory greeting. What shocked me was just how aggressive a slap it was – even if the other male wasn’t looking, they were simply slapped around the head or back in what looked like some sort of acknowledgement of what he’s done.
I think it just goes to show that despite originating from the same genus, human beings are so markedly different from soccerious-twatticus. Whereas civilised men would perhaps greet each other by shaking hands and congratulate each other by articulating their praise as speech, the less advanced species are reduced to behaviour similar that of a happy slap.
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