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Nearly mugged
February 5th, 2007 at 22:52
I left work early this evening because I was feeling ill- I had (and still have) a headache, and feel a bit sick, that sort of thing. Unfortunately, because I didn’t drive in and didn’t fancy waiting for a lift home, I had to walk to the station to get the train home.
Just as you get to the station there’s an underpass. Normally, I’d be one to avoid underpasses at night – but I reasoned that it was only half past seven, the underpass was well lit with CCTV, and I shouldn’t be scared in the city that I practically live in these days. Also I’m dead macho and that.
So I walk under the underpass, and standing on the ramp on the other side are four chav types, who are probably about my age. They weren’t using the underpass for its intended purpose: travelling from one side of the road to the other, they were just standing around in there. And how cool they looked because of it.
What scared me was that I thought I saw one of them holding a knife. I certainly saw something glistening in one of their hands, and thought that if I continued walking towards them I might be the victim of street crime: it was at the point in the evening when the city is deserted… the shops were closed and it wasn’t exactly “pub time”, meaning that if I were to cry for help, no one would hear me scream.
It was here I made a fatal mistake. I changed the way I was walking as a reaction to the perceived Burberry threat. Rather than continue on up the ramp, I decided in haste to walk up the steps to my left and try and get to the station that way. I’d just broken the first rule of avoiding being attacked: “don’t make it look like you’re scared of them in a really obvious way, for fucks sake“.
One of them spots me doing this and I believe he shouted something like “get him!”- its hard to tell because I had my headphones in at the time. When I saw him running towards me I decided to run. And I’ve never run so fast in my life.
The architecture of the pavement was against me slightly – I ended up running along a raised path parallel to the slope up from the underpass. Chasing behind me was the guy who ran after me and up the steps… and as I ran along as fast as I could, weighed down by a heavy bag, he shouted to his mates “get him lads!”. Seriously. So the three others who were on the underpass slope ran up it – this would have cut me off. I’d draw a diagram, but I think that might be a bit excessive.
After what felt like a lifetime, I got to the station and they didn’t seem to follow me into the station. I’m guessing this is either because it was crowded and people would see me being stabbed up, or they were only chasing me because they were cunts and wanted to scare me. They saw I was scared so they thought they’d have some ‘fun’.
The worst thing was, well, not the worst thing, as being chased by some hoodies was pretty fucking awful, but it was a bit depressing that when my life flashed before my eyes when I was being pursued, all I saw was the time I met Kilroy. That was it.
I’ve never been so scared in my life. Hug a hoodie? David Cameron has clearly never been in this situation.
I’m just slightly concerned now that this event might send my political opinions to the right and turn me into an awful bigot. Lock ‘em up and cut out their eyes etc etc. Something must be done about the chav underclass: MIDDLE CLASSES OF ALL COUNTRIES, UNITE!
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