Big Issue
January 30th, 2007 at 01:05

I bought a Big Issue today because my headphones have broken, and so I couldn’t even pretend that I hadn’t clocked the homeless guy and was coincidentally giving him a wide-berth on the pavement.

The seller was dead friendly, and as the transaction was completed, he tried some light conversation, telling me that he only had three left. I’m not very good at light conversation at the best of times, so talking to someone who’s had life pretty difficult is going to be something of a challenge- after all, the most difficult struggle I’ve experienced thus far in my life is trying to acquire a Nintendo Wii.

I responded with a sort of feeble yet cheerful laugh and then, predictably, put my foot in it. What’s the worst possible thing you could say to a man who spends his nights in shop doorways?

“Do you get to go home when you’ve sold them all?”

No. I didn’t just say that… did I?

I think the only way I could have made my comments worse is if I’d then explained how I was born into a vaguely middle-class family and have life easy by default. And then got the banknotes out of my wallet and rubbed them all over my face in a “do you want them? do you?” motion.

Incredibly, he didn’t stab me up or point out my stupidity, but remained friendly and cheerful, telling me to have a nice day.

I think being a Big Issue vendor must be like a seal of approval on who are the friendly homeless people. A bit like ‘rose awards’ and static caravan parks.

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