_Noise_Conspiracy.jpg "The (International) Noise Conspiracy - 002-09-17: 9:30 Club, Washington D.C., USA")
“The Match”
August 19th, 2006 at 19:15
Last night after going to see some motherfucking snakes on a motherfucking plane, I went to the pub. I’m a young person so I can do this. Backstory: JD and Bouff were also with me.
One thing I didn’t realise that yesterday was the day of an apparently big football match between Leicester and Coventry (a friendly between two division one teams), so on entering the pub, looking down the stairs, all I could see was perhaps 300 identikit football cunts staring at a projector screen to my right.
It wasn’t so much the inconsequential friendly that got to me, so much as the fact that most of the people in the pub could have been developed by using a simple algorithm to determine the tiny differences between them. Their skin heads and designer striped shirts or pink t-shirts with meaningless numbers printed on them designed to look like a branding iron had created it gave me nothing but contempt for the lifestyle that I assume they have. I’m essentially Topman-racist.
I’ve said it before, but I just don’t understand football or why it deserves the success it has as a past time. Its the opium of the masses distracting them from a government complicit in the extradition of suspects for torture, a government who will sell top of the range Eurofighters to regimes with a non-existant human rights record, and a government who will kick you in the face whilst wearing a boot wrapped in barbed wire and smoothered in dog mess.
More specifically: I dislike the fact that the people who prove evolution as the missing link spend their time watching sport rather than tackling issues.
I admit, going into a pub like this was probably a questionable move on my part- and in fairness, none of the people there actually did anything to warrant this unprovoked attack… but why on earth would you cheer and shout at a TV screen? It’s like people who clap at the end of a film… why?! Its not like they can hear you all the way in Coventry… or indeed, all the way in Hollywood in the past.
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