World Cup
June 12th, 2006 at 23:59
Hooray! Another blog entry proving how dynamic, up-to-date and “web 2.0″ the “blogosphere” is!
I’m quite an upbeat person – and something of an optimist. You could spend a year giving me bad news, or dropping massive hints that suggest a bad outcome, yet I’d be none-the-wiser. My ignorant optimism will keep my spirits high.
For example, I used to think that the Liberal Democrats were alright, 100% of the time- ignoring the fact that the there’s a large faction to the right of the party (“Orange bookers“), and the old leader ate (ie: drank) children (ie: alcohol) for breakfast (ie: breakfast).
Football is a completely different matter. Unlike the rest of the country, I can clearly see that we don’t have a chance in hell of winning the world cup. The signs are all there:
- The star player has an injury
- The use of the word “we” when describing the team suggests that I had a hand in picking and training the team… and I don’t know anything about football
- England are rubbish at football
I’m one of those fickle people who only become interested in football for two weeks every two years- much like how I’ll be interested in tennis for approximately an hour before Tim Henman loses at Wimbledon again. This said, for my two weeks of “slight interest in football”, I’ve really tried to enter into the spirit of things: I’ve downloaded and printed out a “World Cup Wall Chart“, so I can chart the progress of the England team, and I’ve cut out the sections for the semi-finals and final, so not to delude myself.
I’m not comfortable with patriotic aspects of football supporting- I’ve nothing but contempt for people who hang England flags outside their house. I hate being English, as not only do we have a history of oppression and colonialism, we have a rubbish flag (that you can’t even hang upside down to dissent, because of its rotational symmetry).
The worst thing is that the two weeks of patriotism every two years is just a hint at what will happen when the Queen dies, when we’ll be required by law to be patriotic. It’s almost like a dress rehearsal- everyone has flags and there’s inevitably a massive national depression. The whole nation will be dusting down their England flags for non-football reasons, and painting over the name of the local football club written on the middle stripe (“LUTON TOWN” might appear to be a bit poor-taste), and we’ll be forced to endure non-critical tributes and changes in schedule to the advertised programmes.
My money’s on the Czech Republic to win, because I like the obvious WWII references- especially if they play Germany in the final and Germany occupy their half for most of the game.
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