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Racist Profiling
May 20th, 2006 at 16:31
Being a heterosexual, white male, race issues concern me a lot. I suppose that in theory, I should be an “armchair racist” with my copy of the Daily Mail in one hand and waving my finger in an authoritive manner in the other, warning of the dangers of immigration and people who’s skin colour is slightly different from my own. In actual fact, I’m one of those weird left wing types who because of my race, sexuality and gender have nothing but free time in which to complain about the treatment of everyone else. It’s for this reason I listen to angry white men playing guitars.
I recently rediscovered this amazing toy, that was probably featured in the B3ta newsletter or something ages ago- it allows you to upload a photo of yourself and see what you’d look like if you were a different ethnicity, age, or gender. Or a monkey. After “doing” myself, I wondered to myself how I can give this a needlessly political slant. So I’ve put through arguably the world’s most famous racist through the transformer, to see what Prince Philip, aka the Duke of Edinburgh aka the Queen’s husband, would look like if he were the people he’s insulted.
First off, here’s what he looks like normally:
In 1986, he said to a British student in China “If you stay here much longer you’ll all get slitty eyed.”. So here’s Phil if he were east-asian.
“You look like you’re ready for bed!”, he said to the President of Nigeria, who was wearing traditional robes. Here’s Phil if he were black and of African decent.
And just in case he goes to a zoo in the near future and insults the animals, here’s Phil if he were a monkey.
Terrifying.
But what about other famous racists? What about Nick Griffin, leader of the British National Party? Here he is normally (although I’ve edited out the penis on his forehead, hoho!), then if he were asian, then if he were black.
And what about my old nemesis, Robert Kilroy Silk? What if he were asian, black or a chimp?
I think monkey Kilroy is particularly disturbing because of slightly wry smile.
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