9/08/2005 05:34:00 PM|||James O'Malley|||

Don't worry, I'm not going to talk about both of these things together, that'd be a bit too weird.

My mother, being the obsessive-compulsive person she is, who will labour a point until any sort of meaning that it had has been verbally eroded, told me about someone she was speaking to at work, about University.

You can really tell it's been a slow week when I'm using my mothers anecdotes for blog material.

This person said he was lucky that in his halls of residence, all six of them were CHRISTIANS. Good god. The possibility of me being stuck for a year (or at least the three hours before I bail out and decide I want to live at home) with religious zealots "preaching" on at me about how my Coke in-take or something is "wicked", scares me a lot. (Apparently, in religious circles being "wicked" is a bad thing).

I mean, Christians would undoubtedly be the worst - all of the other religions have a sort of quiet dignity about them. Muslims will go off and pray when they need to, according to their calendar, Buddhists will go and sit quietly and meditate, whilst Christians go from house to house, trying to get you to join their religion and promising "salvation". If they promised me a Playstation Portable, or perhaps, an iPod, then I'd be interested.

There's only so many times you can have an argument about creationism and it be entertaining- after a while it would just get annoying. I'd imagine it would end up with me saying "show me the evidence, show me the evidence", over and over, whilst the creationist parrots some Bible at me.

Maybe it's just the real nutter Christians I hate? Like the cowboy hat wearing godhatesfags.com (suspend your disbelief now, this website is real) guy, or George W Bush.

Either way, I really hope I'm stuck with five or six other normal people.

Speaking of nutters, though, a new series of Byker Grove started this week. This was of particular significance to me, as it marks about a year since an old foe, or nemisis, if you will decided to hate me for no reason. Who am I talking about? Why, Kayleigh, of course. Click here for a short rant about how awful she is. Long story short, she dislike(d?) me because I accused her of looking like a character from Byker Grove. I saw it as a running joke, but for some reason she saw it as something slightly more sinister.

This new series provided me with an opportunity- an opportunity to build bridges, cross the river and burn down her house, as a suitable punishment for the crime of disliking James O'Malley. Using a very poor quality capture card, I captured the episode of Byker Grove, and have taken a number of screenshots, proving my point about her resembling one of the characters. Only an idiot would dispute my flawless argument now.

As luck would had it, one of those "Send this to 20 ppl or u will get bad luck 4evr" e-mails had circulated around people from my old school, and it was still in my inbox. Using this, I harvested Kayleigh's e-mail address, and sent her this damning e-mail...

>It is me, James O'Malley! Never one to let a running
>joke die when it became no longer funny, I've decided
>to make a point.
>
>You apparently "dislike" the magnificent James
>O'Malley because he likened you to a character from
>children's series Byker Grove, and writes e-mails in
>the third person.
>
>Today, I digitally captured the first episode of the
>new series of Byker Grove- within seconds, before the
>opening title sequence had even kicked in, I had
>gathered indisputable PROVING that the allegations I
>made are in fact 100% correct and that you DO look
>like the aforementioned character.
>
>See for yourself:
>
>http://jamesomalley.pkmn.co.uk/blog/pics/23/kayleigh/
>
>As such, I am anticipating a full apology for all of
>the aggressive behavious and the negative attitude
>towards me over the last year.
>
>I hope your catastrophic defeat will mark the
>beginning of a new era in JAMESOMALLEY-Kayleigh
>diplomatic relations, in which you will no longer
>question my superiority over you.
>
>Regards,
>
>James O'Malley
>www.jamesomalley.co.uk
>
>PS: Owned.

I'm still awaiting a response.

|||112619911845267832|||Christians and Byker Grove