Plugged in!
June 10th, 2005 at 20:19
I had no reason to be in school today- the stats exam was over and I thought I’d celebrate by taking a day off. Heather, having recently finished her exams, joined me.
The agenda for the day was unclear, so we were unsure as what to do. We met in town, and after activating my new debit card, we came to the conclusion that the town isn’t the hotbed of activity neither of us had anticipated. We retreated, much like the French, to my house.
On the way back, we, by which I mean, I, as Heather has a habit of being horrendously indecisive, eventually agreed on going to my local recreation ground. Now that I’m an adult, the swings have lost their appeal. I tried to enjoy myself, but it wasn’t the same. I complained about my back and how kids today have no respect. I suggested to Heather that we were being teenage louts, and a cigarette was needed to complete the look, as after all, here were two teenagers, on a childrens play area. When a small child and his mother came to presumably use the equipment for what it is designed (childish frolics), we abandoned The Rec and went to my house. In retrospect, there’s nothing strictly wrong with what we were doing, as Heather is still under 18, and thus it was an adult supervising a child having fun, surely?
We got to my house, and sat about a bit, not really sure what to do. Afterall, I’d invited her round with the theory being “slacking”- I hadn’t planned any further ahead. Long story short, I ended up standing on a plug, and really hurting my foot. There was a big, prong shaped, hole in it.
Panicking, whilst trying to remain as manly and brave as I could in front of two women (Heather and my mother), I squeaked in the voice you can only do when in pain that I needed a plaster. There was none in the house, so this lead us on to the next stage in today’s adventure. Heather and I took a trip to the relatively new Lidl to buy some. Both of us had never been in there before, so we didn’t know quite what to expect.
The shop itself was a lidl bit exciting. (Haha!)
It was as hyper-nationalistic, efficient and blond, just as I’d anticipated. I have never seen a supermarket with so few brand name products. There was Pepsi, but that was it. When we walked in, I thought there was stacks of Coca-Cola, it was actually a “cola” in a red bottle, but it wasn’t coke. I wanted to get some, just to see if the German’s are better at cola than they are at war. Of course, the downfall in this plan was that Heather was there, and she’s rather militant on the whole Coke thing.
Point is, we bought some much needed plasters. Up until this point, I had been keeping my foot pain-free with some tissue paper in my sock. It was like a plug-induced nose bleed, which I get rather a lot of (regular nose bleeds, I mean).
Plaster applied, we decided to test out my “new” foot on a trip around the area where I live. First stop was the place where I fell into the river, around five years ago. What’s this? You’re presumably wondering. Back in my somewhat well-spent youth, Stephen, Teb and myself (obviously we looked, and were, much younger then) occasionally went to an artificial weir. That’s a little concrete waterfall thing, for you plebs out there. We’d jump across, as if to prove our sporting agility. You can see where this is going. I walked across the little waterfall bit between the two concrete erm… bits (guess who hasn’t done any geography in two years). Carefully stepping across in order to look around the bend in the river to see if there was any ducks. I slipped. I fell. I slid. I splashed.
I was then sitting waist high in river water, and laughing whilst simultaneously being in a degree of pain. It was hilarious at the time, and equally now, I think. I broke my first mobile phone in the process. Quite why I didn’t just jump across to the other side and look from there, like I’d been doing seconds previously, I don’t know.
Anyway, after spending a few minutes enthralling Heather with this tale of heroism and victory, much to our surprise, my physics teacher from my AS levels jumped out of a hedge, carrying what I assume were his recycling bins. “Shouldn’t he be at work?”, I thought.
The trip continued, and we ended up at the site of a somewhat infamous accident. All of my friends know about this, partially because I won’t shut up about it, but because of the circumstances under which it happend. That’s right, we arrived at the traffic island where I smashed up my mum’s car.
Long story short, Christmas Day, got put on the car insurance as a Christmas present. Two hours later, I panicked after a drunken cyclist, the only other person on the road, swerved in front of me, so I in turn swerved my mum’s car into a bollard. Written off. £1600 worth of damage.
The bollard is still there. It’s not in bad shape, really. Just a bit warped. It sprung right back up. Unlike the cyclist I hit car. We stood in the traffic island for a few minutes, reflecting on what happend, just under six months ago. I don’t think Heather was too impressed.
After the repressed memories came flooding back, we headed back to my house, where my mother, like she does with all of my new and relatively new friends, interrogated Heather. “What are your parents jobs?”, “Have you always lived where you do?”, “Did you know James was born eight weeks early?”, “Would you like to read James’ school report?” (she did), “Here’s an embarassing story about James”.
Shortly after this, and after a brief experiment which involved a free razor Gilette sent me for my 18th, in which we discovered that it works on arm hair, even without shaving foam, Heather had to go to catch a bus, ending what I thought was a very nice day. I hope she enjoyed it too, because otherwise she’ll spread rumours to her friends and peers about how boring I am.
Hmm… just revision to worry about now.
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