6/15/2005 10:17:00 PM|||James O'Malley|||

Today was like the prelude to the even bigger and less exciting day that will be tommorrow. Pure 3 exam tommorrow, including the mysterious "Section B", which is about our understanding of maths applied to the real world. Needless to say, given my understanding of maths, and how often I go out into the real world, I'm somewhat buggered.

Today was two of the general studies exams, including the infamous French test. This was a language I havn't studied in two years, and two years ago, I wasn't exactly any good at it. (Got a B!). Luckily, because general studies is sort of an easy version of a wide variety of subjects, the theory is that I should be able to "blag" it, and do what all the best tourists do. Surely writing English in capital letters is equivilent to the same thing in French? That's how my mother managed to get us some tickets to the tourist train on our last holiday in France. She waved her arms too, but this is hard to transcribe. This plan's downfall was the fact that the French bit was multiple choice.

The exam should have been like fighting the French in a war. Dead easy.

Je suis tombé la escalier.

It's hard to say how I did, but I don't think it was well.

The other part of the French exam was, bizarrely, an essay written in English about the link between the decline in religious worship and changing public morals. I had a rant at religion and spoke about dynamic relativism, and how religion is crap, and stuff. Whether this is the right thing to do or not, I don't know.

The best thing that happend in the exam, and I use the term "best" in the loosest possible sense, was a year 11, who was in the hall at the time doing a Geography exam,'s phone went off. The unfortunate thing for him was that the ringtone was the now reviled Crazy Frog. Unfortunately, the people controlling the exam didn't frog-march the kid out of the exam room to be executed by firing squad- they merely took his phone off of him. The phone rang again whilst it was at the front of the room, too.

After 90 minutes of what is best described as "a general studies paper", we got what everyone in the room was collectively hoping for. Yet another 90 minute paper. This time it was about maths and science, and that sort of thing. After a hopefully easy bit on the funny canal twisting thing up north somewhere, there was another essay question. I wrote about intensive farming. Given that I don't live on a farm, or in the countryside, or indeed, had never seen a duck fly until a few weeks ago, I was quite impressed with how much I wrote about how it's cool, and how it's bad. I just hope genetic modification has got something to do with it. Oo-er.

I finished this paper with what must have been around 45 minutes to spare- whilst not a good sign, I made good use of the time. I drew an incredibly detailed picture of my calculator, and wrote "JAMESOMALLEY.CO.UK" in large writing on the back of the answer booklet. Theory is, the examiner will come to my website, contact me with his or her paypal details, and then all my "hard work" will pay off and I'll get straight As.

Expect an update in August about my exam results, unless they're really bad, in which case I'll keep them quiet.

Also, keep the questions coming in.

|||111887236179605629|||J'ai deteste la francais parce que la exam